It Was Always Katniss
by theboywiththebread12
Summary: I don't know the exact moment when I saw her, but as soon as I did, the whole world stood still. It wasn't like love at first sight. It took me a few years of knowing her to finally realise how much, how deeply, I was in love with her. But from that day on, from that very moment in the schoolyard, I always knew I was going to marry Katniss Everdeen.


**A/N: Okay! If a living, breathing person happens to read this, I'm sorry. I wrote this a little before I wrote my other fic and I think it's terrible. HOWEVER, as my other fic is coming to an end I decided to publish this. It's basically lots of drabble about Peeta's undying love for Katniss.**

**Enjoy:)**

I don't know the exact moment when I saw her, but as soon as I did, the whole world stood still. It wasn't like love at first sight. It took me a few years of knowing her to finally realise how much, how deeply, I was in love with her. But from that day on, from that very moment in the schoolyard, I always knew I was going to marry Katniss Everdeen.

Like I say, I'm unsure of the exact date, the exact time when I first saw her. My mother told us to always steer clear of 'Seam trash' as she called it, but I always found them utterly memorizing. The silvery grey eyes, the silky brown hair-and how everyone in the Seam had all the same features? It fascinated me to the point where I would just stare out of the window and look at them walking past, like models on a catwalk.

Even as a small boy, just learning the ropes on how to make cookies at the tender age of 7, I knew what love and marriage was. My father would always sit me at the countertop in the early mornings, when I would refuse to let him leave for the bakery without taking me. I would sit there for hours until the sun came up and my mother woke, transfixed by the stories of another life, his previous life, for want of a better word.

He would describe how luxurious it was, being in love. How it wasn't the same with my mother. That, although there was some love for my mother, it was nothing compared to how much he loved the mother of the Everdeen children.

"We were going to run off to another District and get married," he would chuckle, "but the night before we were due to board a train she ran off with a coal miner. Took off with my heart and left nothing but a note!" He would laugh and ruffle my hair but I could hear the hurt behind his voice and clearly see the pain behind his eyes.

I knew my mother would never be enough for him. He loved her, I was sure of that, but it was the wrong type of love. Not the love a husband and wife should have. It was more like a forced love, for her anyway. And ever since that day, when my father explained about the Everdeens, I vowed to myself that I would never, ever, treat Katniss like my mother treated my father.

As I grew older, so did my love for Katniss. We were mostly in the same classes, except for art, something I was better at than her. Sometimes I would glance over at her and be in a dream world. She would always sit by the window, something I later learned was because she felt more outside and, if a class was particularly boring, she would just look out of the window and imagine she was in the woods. This then lead to my seat usually being directly behind hers. In the summer, when the sun would shine through the windows, her hair would light up. With every slight move she made, her hair would shimmer and I found myself staring at it for what seemed like hours.

But that would also come with intense pain. When summer became winter I could see her collar bone jutting out of her thin t-shirt, the bones in her hands clearly visible when she would stroke them though her hair.

So on that fateful day, when I saw Katniss in the yard outside my house, I felt like I knew everything about her. But I knew there was more. My heart would ache to know more and everyone knew it. My brothers, my mother and even the few friends I had at school knew I 'fancied' Katniss Everdeen. Only my father really understood that I much more then 'fancied' Katniss Everdeen. I loved her.

It was just unlucky that my father was in town on the day when Katniss showed up outside the bakery. If he was there, I'm sure I wouldn't have gone to sleep wincing in pain at the burning sensation on my cheek, but grinning in ecstasy because I had talked to Katniss Everdeen.

At around 15, I started dreaming about Katniss. Nothing sexual really but sometimes I would wake up a little more _excited_ then I should've been. It wasn't always like that though. It would be of Katniss smiling at me, really smiling though, genuinely happy. Other times we would be kissing or hugging. But for 2 years straight, I would always be thinking of Katniss Everdeen, asleep _and _awake.

The day I got reaped was one of the worst and best days of my life. I was leaving my family. I wasn't concerned about leaving my brothers. In the high possibility I died they would mourn for me, but would forget all about me after a couple years. My mother? Well, I was unsure whether she would even miss me at all. I was only worried about my father. I knew, at times, I was really the only one there for him, him the same for me. We both knew my mother would never be there for him to lean on and my brothers were probably out kissing girls they would meet at bars in town. I was the only son he could rely on. So for that, I hated the games.

But they got me talking to Katniss Everdeen and Katniss Everdeen talking to me. Albeit, training and practicing techniques was hard _I _was talking to Katniss Everdeen. And that in itself was something I never thought I'd do.

I don't know what it was that made me admit to the whole of Panem that I was in love with her. Time, I think was a factor. As stupid as it sounds I had waited long enough to talk to Katniss and I finally realised I had waited long enough to tell her that I loved her.

Maybe my timing was a little wrong.

During the games my sole aim was to protect her. I had come to the conclusion that if I did die, my family wouldn't care. They would get over it. But if Katniss dies, and I lived, well, I wouldn't live at all. I would be alive and functioning but not living. So I went off with the careers for a while, trying to direct them the exact oppsite way Katinss was going, hoping and praying that Katniss was heading as far away from this place as possible.

I hid away for a while after Cato tried to stab me. It only took me a few hours to camouflage myself yet I was lying there for what seemed like days. I heard my former group in the distance the short time I was lying there. The never seemed to notice me, I dread to think what I would've done if they had, I just didn't want Katniss to be anywhere near here anyway. I just hoped she'd listen to Haymitch. As drunk as that stupid old fool was, he'd won this thing twice, so his advice must mean something.

And then came Katniss. I heard the announcement and could've sworn I heard her shout for me, but by this time I was tired, dehydrated and hungry. A few hours after the announcement she arrived. I suppose I expected her, I knew she wanted to win for Prim, needed to win for Prim. I was willing to help however I could.

* * *

We won, we won the Hunger Games. I was finally happy. I loved Katniss. Katniss loved me. Simple.

But she lied. The whole thing was a lie. The kisses. The hugs. The stories. Everything. I never thought it was possible for me to ever be this upset. It was like waking up, from the best dream I'd ever had.

Haymitch still said we had to keep up the act. So I did. For Katniss. It was always Katniss.

**A/N: Please review! I plan to leave it as a one shot but who knows, I might add another chapter. If you came straight to this fic, then please go check out my other one, The Truth About Love! I think it's pretty good, if I may say so myself.**


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